Onsite trips are a total boon for me. And no I ain't talking about the obvious facts of me getting to see new places, take my mind off the routine life I would otherwise lead and all. Yes, these things are added to the list, but there is one thing that really stands out.

It gives me a feeling of death.

They say that your whole life flashes in front of you just before you die. I have a chance to feel this without having to die actually. So while people are fascinated about us wanting to correct some things in our lives when we look back just before death, I know a lot of people like me, who know that given a chance to go back, they'd do the exact same thing they had done the previous time, they don't regret what happened, but definitely you see where you could have improved. And when I look back, all I see is I could've smiled more, laughed more, given more, done more, whined less, worried less, fought less. All in all, I could've lived more.

And what is beautiful about it, is I don't need to actually die to see what all I could've done better or more- travel to me, is temporary death. The last two weeks before I leave for onsite is always about meeting all those people who are important to me, but haven't met for whatsoever reasons, telling them that we will meet more often once I'm back, planning a lot of trips and meet-ups ahead (and yes it is also about meeting people whom I meet very often, considering that I will be gone for a long time). The last week before departure is my week - people who love me do everything to make me happy, all I have to say is I'm gone in a week, then you won't have anyone to bug you. It also clears a lot of "What will they think about me" syndrome which a few of my friends have. I tell them that they can worry about "what will they think about you" after a week, after I have gone, and am no longer here, for now, we all can just live like how we truly are. And it works. It is also the week where fights don't happen over silly things, nobody around me wastes time over anything petty.

And it is equally their week too - I have dinner at home every day in that week so that mom is happy (just one week left you see, better keep her happy J), I send dedications to friends to let them know I will miss them, I send gifts for the impending celebrations in their lives because I know I will miss the occasion and a lot of other small things which truly make the people who matter happy. ( for example, leaving my food card at home for my brother :P)
Anyway, I digress. And sometimes, I think it is very necessary to go off track to come back on track. (Somebody said this to me, and it is true!)

Coming back. As I was saying, when I see how my life has gone by, I see that I didn't take the stage when I knew the answer to what was being asked, I didn't run how much I wanted to, I didn't write as much as I wished I did, these are regrets. Funny how true it is that regret is never for the things that we did, but only for the things that we didn't! But the best thing is, my life isn't over. As of yet at least. I can go back, and make improvements in the way I lived, to the way I would want to see it when I actually die, when my whole life plays as a movie.

And I think though all of us know that death is inevitable, we forget that it is death that makes life meaningful. To remember that one day we will leave this place, is to remember to do all the important things today. Make your life be what you wish to see in the final moments before you leave! So long, and then forever!