Giving up

Vanjulavalli Sridhar
Published on: 28th April 2014
I hail from a typical South Indian family as perceived by most these days. I was provided first class education along with mandatory extra-curricular pursuits. This was a normal routine for me and most of my friends. I was highly interested in dancing and was entrusted to one of the finest Gurus. I started playing badminton from a summer camp I had been to, and I loved it. Later came a musical instrument, in my case, a piano. I was doing my best in all these fields and there were definitely fruits for my hard work. I won dance competitions, matches at various levels and cleared music exams. However, there is always a catch! My mother wanted a singer in the family. So, in the process of trying to create one, my brother and I were sent to Carnatic music classes as well. The problem was - I wasn't interested and I felt I couldn't sing. While I learnt the theory well- ragas, talas and lessons, I would simply refuse to sing. Thinking back, I know not why! This was a big conflict at home. My mom was so persistent, no matter how many times I stopped going for classes, she would find yet another Guru to teach me! I even remember enrolling new when I was in class XI. Beyond all the fights and tension, one day, my mom sat me down to talk about it. We both knew I was at a place where giving up on this endeavor was beneficial. We were both willing to put it behind us and move on. Maybe that decision was long overdue! The anecdote I quoted is very light but it was actually a 16 year long pursuit.

Giving up is not always bad. In this context, I urge you to think of our own lives and the many decisions we take. It doesn't mean we should give up when the road gets tough. I am only stressing that if you have given your 100%, tried all you could and sadly you know there is no hope, please give up. Do not waste your precious time pursuing a lost cause.

Let me quote two scenarios which will throw a little serious perspective on this aspect.
giving up,clarity
These are two independent stories rooted in love. My best friend and her partner have been together since 2006. They belong to completely different cultures. He is from Uttarakhand while she is from Kerala. They tried hard to convince their families and they have succeeded after eight long years. They are tying the knot this April. That couple has officially been through it all, but it did not deter them. In the second case, the girl and guy were together for five years. One of them was scared of commitment and very apprehensive. The other tried all that was possible, but no decision could be reached. There was a very happy present but no future to look forward to. One fine day they decided it was enough and broke it off.
The difference between the two scenarios is not in the amount of love they had. They both were standing examples of a successful and happy relationship, being amazing in their own right. It was about how much both partners were committed to seeing it through till the end. In the first case there was determination in both and so, giving up would have been bad. In the latter, only one person fought for it and that very fact made it a lost cause. The best decision, or probably the only option left, was to give up and move on.

Let me wrap up by saying that we need to have the wisdom to differentiate between something worth fighting for versus something that will waste your life away. There is no shame in giving up on a lost cause. In truth, your ego should not get hurt if you do so. When you do face such situations, bow out respectfully when you can!
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