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Hei! Do You Need Their Validation?

Ana Sorina Corneanu From Romania shares her perspectives on how we as humans are constantly seeking validation from everyone around us and that is keeping up from getting everywhere we desire to get. Quite a read indeed. Read ON!
When I do something, I wait to see what others think about it.

If someone tells me he doesn't like what I did, I'm immediately demoralized. If the person, whose opinions matter to me, tells me that he is not satisfied with my product and plan, I immediately give up. I feel inadequate. I think I'm not good enough.

I need my ideas confirmed, to hear that it's okay.

Do you recognize yourself in the sentences above? Are they yours? Do you often find yourself in the situations presented?

If so, you are dependent on validation.

Do You Need Their Validation?
What is validation? Very need to receive confirmation that you are good at what you do.

Validation is just the amalgam of thoughts above that knocks you down.

It's just that, you know what? Validation is a harmful habit. You don't need get validation for your ideas, plans, and work. You will tell me that in fact, it is necessary to achieve something. And I'll tell you - again - it's not.

No one is perfect, so no one can tell you that your plans will not materialize, no one can tell you that your product will have no impact or there will be no success. Because nobody outside of you knows exactly what you wanted to achieve with your plan, and who is your target audience. Nobody really knows what you think, and what your thoughts and plans are; here, the validation is not necessary.

Ah, is there a situation where it would be necessary?? When something comes from you, you are the only person who needs to provide validation.

You have to believe in what you do, you have to trust yourself, be convinced of your ideas.

Do You Need Their Validation?
You? Yes, Perfect. Then you will get the impact you need, and achieve what you believe in. If ten people have told you they don't believe in the value you can bring to your plans, what do you do? You tell yourself that you are one, and they are 10, so you have to give up everything? Then, you will comply with their words, and you will fail. On the other hand, if you know clearly what the plans and implementation of your projects are worth, you will also enjoy the confidence of others.

Validation from others stops us from what we really want to do. Our validation is the only one that helps us, supports us, raises us, and is needed. Irony is that it is completely missing.

First of all, what do we think about what we do? Why don't we ask ourselves for the validation? Why are we the biggest hindrance in making our own plans work? Why do what others think matter more than what we think about it?

Validation has destroyed more dreams than failure itself. Because validation brings fear, fear brings lamentation, then renunciation. And finally, it boils down to validation = giving up. Not failure = giving up

Does the validation of others tell us whether we are good enough?

Does it make us better?

Do others need to believe in our plans? To what extent? In what situations? What's the limit?

If we do not receive the validation of the others are we less good? Will we fail? Will we succeed without them believing in us?

What do we feel when we receive validation? Are we guaranteed the success upon validation of others?

How many plans did you give up because you were told that it has no value? That they are not good enough, that they are utopian, unrealistic, that you are not good enough or talented?

How do you define talent?

When looking for validation from those who believe in being able to offer it, ask yourself these questions. Answer honestly, give yourself time, change places. Think of yourself as someone who hasn’t liked the ideas of many, but that did not stop them from implementing them. We all are different and we believe in different things.

Do You Need Their Validation?
We do things differently and we have different times for success. We see time as as a factor and impose it on ourselves. Give up on time and you will live; you will succeed; you will be able to do anything. You will no longer pose the measurable problem: I have to do x things a month, I have to finish these many things in a week, I have to hurry. When you give up on time, you do what you want and you don't get stuck in the limit.

When you no longer get stuck in the limitation, you stop comparing yourself. When you stop comparing yourself, you no longer seek the validation of others. You gain courage, you know yourself better, you trust and you understand that all that matters is that you believe in what you do. And you will succeed. I'm not talking about books, although it's tempting, everything I read goes through my own filter.
With some things I agree, in others, I find false lies. No one can convince me of things I don't believe in. Just as no one can demoralize me about things I believe in. I accept and believe that we are different, and this makes us wonderful and offers us diversity, so the opportunity to learn from each other - permanently.

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Any facts, figures or references stated here are made by the author & don't reflect the endorsement of iU at all times unless otherwise drafted by official staff at iU. This article was first published here on 4th December 2020.
Ana Sorina Corneanu
My name is Ana, I love writing, I believe in our best self and love.

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