A collection of write-ups from experiences of life that inspire, empower, influence & trigger positive values, habits & mindsets.
iU-EYE: A Family Member/Close Friend/Colleague's Distress That You Are Helpless About
Close family, friends or colleagues is a circle of important people who matter to us & we wish to matter to them too. But, Life in its most real form often puts us in a state/situation where our desire to matter/be useful is high but it just isn't possible. We wish to influence them, change their mind, help them change habits, help evolve their thought processes, facilitate resources & may be much more. But it hurts to be unable to do much due to circumstances, barriers (cultural/of resources/geographical) or other valid reasons. Let's bring IU-EYE to learn how to deal with this context.
You cannot solve a problem with the same level of consciousness you used to create it. So if a loved one is going through pain, it is extremely tempting to play God when you know how to handle that pain.
It is easy to take away the pain by dealing with the situation yourself.
And yet at times, when the situation is beyond you, and you want to do everything you can to remove the pain but cannot, what do you do?
Ignore it? Face it head first?
Be worried about not being able to help someone we love?
Here's what iU-EYE believes:
* Is your present state of mind helping you or the person concerned?
* Is there anything you can do about it?
* A wise man once said :there are 3 kinds of problems in this world
a.) Your problem
b.) Other people's problem
c.) The univere/God's problem.
P.S : Everyone in this planet is fortunately blessed with their own set of problems.
* Would it be possible for you to put across what you feel about them and state clearly what you'd like for them to do in order to help them out of the situation. ?
* Identifying the radius of control: Identifying how much control you have over the situation, and then acting on it:
a. Can do something about it - what can you do, and how fast can you act?
b. Partially in your control - even in constrained situations, what's your best shot going to be?
c. Absolutely not in your control- acceptance. And bringing in love and laughter to the concerned person's life.
* What would you do to keep them distracted, if the pain they're going through just needs time to be healed?
* What best environs would you choose for your loved ones to be, given that endurance is the only choice?
* Classifying the type/duration of pain a loved one has to bear:
a. Is it temporary/short lived?
b. Is it long term/life-time?
c. Is it irreparable/life threatening?
- This above classification can help ease your mind to a great extent, which would make you bring out your best for them at the time.
Get the Latest & Recommended articles in your Inbox* What can you do to keep the atmosphere around them joyful and light?
* What can you do to help them evolve? To mostly, endure?
* The rock has to undergo pressure and torture to become a diamond.
If you can keep them entertained through their journey- shout out to you!
If not, turn that music on and go to sleep! ( or just go to sleep- solves most problems I believe.)
* Look around. This pain for a loved one - it can due to a loss of material wealth, health, status in society etc.. How many people around you in life face it, and how often do you notice them? Can you identify this bias that you have just for "your" loved ones?
* Can you see that pain exists for all humanity in various forms, and the larger your radius of love, the more pain you are bound to see?
Today, iU-EYE has looked at how best can we deal with the pains those close to us go through, when we're helpless about it. We hope this would be your guiding light at those times of darkness in your life.
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Any facts, figures or references stated here are made by the author & don't reflect the endorsement of iU at all times unless otherwise drafted by official staff at iU. This article was first published here on 18th August 2017.