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You are never inferior!

Life is a chest of experiences. We have good and bad experiences. Good experience rejuvenates our mind and body and bad experience fills us with negativity. Bad experiences are like stain on your shirt, which are hard to remove because they have a deep impact on our mind due to emotional component. One such fetid impact is the feeling of inferiority.
Inferiority is a shallow feeling which disrupts your self esteem, eats you up from within and makes you hollow. Inferiority is a feeling which implies you are inferior to others. So feeling of inferiority comes into play when you compare yourself with others. No one is immune to this virus of inferiority. From pediatrics to geriatric age group, all are vulnerable to this inferiority monster.
We all have been to school, right? We study, play and face exams. Results are most feared incidents of school life. Results are just like one of those nightmares which we never want to see because it not only brings out your percentage of marks but also brings a lot of other stuff.
You are never inferior!
Suppose results are out and you scored 85% of marks. You are happy and even your parents are happy with your marks. Its time to celebrate and suddenly one of your friends' parents visit your place and inform that their son scored 90% of marks; then, the smile on your parents' face starts fading. Your parents' happiness completely disappears when 5-10 people compare your score with their kid who have scored better than you. You feel inferior because you are compared with your friend, when people appreciate your friend and you remain an outcast.

What hurts maximum is when even your parents do the same. Earlier you score was not compared with your friend's score, you and your parents were happy but the moment they started comparing, it ruined your happiness and landed you to feeling of inferiority. You feel inferior. But the fact is you are not inferior, but its your marks that are comparatively low and you are not just a score of an exam. Secondly there are number of exams that are about to come and there are number of opportunities to score well. Also the fact that 85% is good what's bad is your act of comparison. Feel contented with what you have. If you work a bit harder the next time even you can score  more and so there is no need to feel inferior.

We grow up and then participate in extra-curricular activities like dance, sports etc. The fact is, all newbie are not good at dance and sports. You may have friends who are good at it due to their dedication towards practice. Those who are good get selected in dance troop and sports team and suppose you are not one of those selected one and again the virus of comparison invades your mind and you feel low because you are not selected. It hurts when you want to dance or to play but you are forced to be a part of audience and your best friend is on play ground or on dance floor. It really hurts a lot! A point to think upon is when you were born did you know how to walk or talk? The answer is 'No'. You learned those things. You fell, you fumbled but later with practice you did it and now you walk flawless and speak fluently.

We learned walking, talking because they are conditional reflex-that can be learned. Just like talking, walking even dancing and sports are conditional reflexes that can be learned and perfection can be attained by mere practice. Practice will help you discover your flaws and gives you opportunity to correct them and become perfect and if you are good at it you will be a part of dance troop or sports team. All you need is to practice and be perfect. If you are not selected then there may be reasons for it, discover them, work on it, improve yourself and then you will be selected. Don't let disqualification be a weapon that injures your self esteem but make it a whip to train your lion to perform well. Make it a stimuli that motivates you to walk on path of your goal rather than a  thorn that pricks your foot and stagnates your journey.

We grow up and complete our graduation and we are out to find a job. Few candidates get the job easily but some have to really struggle to find one. One who find the job easily are happier than the one who are unemployed. Unemployed people feel inferior because they have to carry the burden of responsibilities on their shoulders. If you are unemployed there is an intangible pressure of family responsibilities which acts as white ants and starts eating you up as if you are pile of paper. Fulfilling your own needs is a big challenge and what's hard to deal with is people speaking about your unemployed condition. Their taunts irritates your ears and you feel to punch them but you can't. Plight of unemployed is hard to describe, unemployed is tightly wrapped by his responsibilities just as snake wraps a person and constricts person insidiously and on other hand taunts of people are like stings of bees and wasps.

But feeling inferior is not the solution. Solution is to work hard to get a job, fulfill your responsibilities and shut up the mouths of gossiping bugs. Look for vacancies, go for interviews. Don't let stress ruin everything and make things worse. Be calm and look for job. If you work really hard, you will get a job. Getting depressed in not the solution, solution is to find a job and one day you will say," Eureka! I finally got a job."

At workplace you have to deal with clients, colleagues and boss. You have to manage everything and suppose your colleague gets promotion and you didn't get promotion. At that time you feel inferior compared to your colleague who got promoted because you are comparing yourself with him. Its just his post, designation and salary that is raised. You are not inferior to him because its just his designation got better and no worries if you work hard, even you will get the promotion next time because if you are hardworking and if you accompany your hard work with consistency and sincerity then success will find its way towards you.

Next comes the money matter. If you earn less compared to any of your friend or colleague you feel inferior. But the question to be thought about is, ' Is your income enough to fulfill your needs?' If the answer is 'Yes' the there is no need to feel inferior because money is just a tool to fulfill your needs and if your income is ample to fulfill your needs then why do you need more? Place a deaf ear to your greed or fake social pride which calls for earnings more than you need. If you feel content with whatever you earn then you will never feel inferior.

Next is the place we live in, its our home. People feel inferior if they own a small home and some friend of yours owns a bungalow. Again the matter of needs come into play. If your small home is enough for your family and doesn't creates overcrowding then there is no need of bungalow because you should be satisfied when your needs are fulfilled.

In old age inferiority complex comes when you are trying to deal with new devices, new technology and new techniques. Inability to deal with it raises feeling of inferiority and helplessness. But not even youth was acquainted with skills to use new devices and technology. They learned and mastered it. I know it takes time but as earlier mentioned these things are learned conditional reflexes and you can master them by practice. So don't waste time in feeling inferior and invest time in learning new technology. Feeling of inferiority enters into scene when you compare yourself with others and worst part is you never compare yourself as a person but you compare stuff like marks, talent,job, designation, income , home etc which actually doesn't define you. You metaphorically make these above things as you and then compare and feel inferior. The best part is all the above things that acts as your metaphor can be gained with little extra hard work. Inferiority is felt by you because you allow yourself, your mind and heart to feel inferior, like if you know whatever you have is enough for you and if you don't unnecessarily compare yourself with others you can guard yourself from this monster of inferiority. We are not in a rat race to get better than someone. Our only aim is to fulfill our needs, our responsibilities and be happy and we do everything for sole purpose of being happy and content.

You are never inferior, you feel you are inferior to others because its you who make unnecessary comparisons and land up in grave sea of inferiority. Your thinking is only reason which makes you feel inferior. So never think you are inferior. Never feel you are inferior.

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Any facts, figures or references stated here are made by the author & don't reflect the endorsement of iU at all times unless otherwise drafted by official staff at iU. This article was first published here on 19th January 2017.
Vishal Rajkumar Gudlani
A student who has interest in writing.

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